Street-level rumors, story seeds, and anything else a crackpot will tell you for a pack of smokes.

The Underground is everywhere, man, but most people refuse to see. Of course, the media reinforces this with subliminal messages. The worst one? The “infographic” on the front page of USA Today. Ever notice how you’re just… drawn to look at it? Once you do, you’ll be oblivious to the paranormal until the next day’s paper arrives. Luckily, once you know about it, the infographic won’t affect you… so you’re okay now. By the way, the same message of attraction, suggestion and repression is embedded in every Garfield comic strip. I mean, how else is that thing still around?

Y’know how KFC isn’t Kentucky Fried Chicken anymore… just KFC? The Knowledge Flayers Council bought out the chain and changed the name so they could apply their sympathetic magic, and now every one of those joints is an altar attuned to their cause… while the unsuspecting masses worship. Of course, before they could do it, they had to kill off the Colonel first… and at two hundred and fifty years old, he must have had a couple tricks up his sleeve. But they got him, and to the victor goes the spoils.

There’s a hougan in Fairbanks – hell of a taxidermist – bit of a joker too. His work is real life-like, but don’t piss him off. Ninety percent of the nocturnal animal break-ins in Fairbanks are stuffed bears, breaking out.

Oh man, throw away those coupons. There’s no such thing as a free lunch, and there’s no such thing as a thirty-percent-free lunch. They just take it from you… in other ways… Same goes for sale items. Believe me, buying that stuff just lets them get you, strips away your protections. Why do you think poor people buy stuff on sale, but stay poor? Now, if you wanna get the deal you can’t resist, make sure you negotiate it yourself, in person. You see a deal you like, take the coupon to a different retailer, force ’em to honor it. Or go to the original place, but leave the coupon at home, and then argue with them that everyone in the damn city got the flier, so why not give you the deal without the coupon? As long as you negotiate for the sale price, you’ve earned your discount and they can’t exploit you – that’s why the retailers get so irritated when you try it.

There are seven words in every Gideon’s Bible – y’know, the one they stuff in every hotel room – that can’t be found in any other bible. If you repeat those seven words to yourself while grasping the doorknob to your room, the door will open to any hotel room in the world. Of course, if you want to control where you’re going, you’ll need to know the Gideon’s Key – one more inserted word, unique to each copy, that acts as an index for each room.

Every angel has a material form in our world – a single passenger pigeon. Two hundred years ago, Heaven was filled with angels, and people couldn’t imagine running out of passenger pigeons. Now, mankind’s foolishness has made both the passenger pigeon and the angel extinct. Sadly, demons are a lot more flexible about the forms they take, so they aren’t going to be endangered anytime soon. Only a pigeon’s intentions are pure enough to cohabitate with an angel, whereas a demon can corrupt anything.

The last battle will be fought between kudzu and melaleuca – the two plant species that seek to cover the earth at the expense of all life. They both have a sinister intelligence incoherent to our understanding, and they are in constant competition. Humanity’s only hope is to play them against each other. Kudzu’s winning right now – that’s why there’s been such a glut of melaleuca tea-tree oil products in response.

Crop circles? Aliens don’t make crop circles. People make crop circles. Crop circles are the interstellar road sign saying DON’T BOTHER. Otherwise, the aliens would’ve landed a long time ago.