… and Pac-Man eats another charge…

You remember Castle Wolfstein, one of first-person shooters that really pioneered the genre? Or maybe Doom, its successor, and the many spin-offs that came after it? Or perhaps Dune 2 is more your cup of tea, the first real-time strategy game that really made it big? Or maybe Leisure Suit Larry, or…

Well, you get the idea. These games have one thing in common: they spun a whole new genre into the collective consciousness of the masses. These games are almost crackling with sheer potential mystical energy, and all it takes is for someone to tap into that vast cosmic pool. All it takes is the right lever, the right person and the right timing…

Where did I hear this from? That’s not important. Some duke, probably; you know how things are around here. But, see, I need your help. I hear you’re an avid collec- …no, of course not, I wouldn’t even dream of asking you to do something like that, sir… no, see, all I need is a copy. Ah, what’s in it for you? Weeelll… I did manage to get my hands on a recent copy of the leaked Doom 3 Alph-

Whoa, whoa, settle down there tiger! Not so fast, now. First, you hand me what I want, and then you’ll get your disc. I see the glint in your eye now, heh. Do we have an understanding, then? Oh, you’re interested now eh? Well, it’s not like you know the words anyway, might as well. See here, you just take a copy of one of those games, and then you build a huge bonfire around it. Oh don’t look like that, it’s not as if it’s worth anything to you, a fresh copy of a game never used before for something like this. Yeah yeah I know, but that’s probably what triggers the charge, that scare-… that scaril-… heresy. Whatever. Then, with that copy, and it’s gotta be a copy from the original game too, with that burning copy you dance around the fire chanting some words. No, of course I’m not gonna tell that to you, whadda think I am, stupid? Bugger off already, and get that cat of yours off my bag before I start punching some numbers, and probably some furballs too. And then when you’re done making a fool out of yourself around the fire, you jump right over it and you get all juiced up.

So I’ll see you here next week? Yes, I’ll have your CD with me too. Great. It’s a deal then. And don’t forget: I know where you stay, I know where your stashes are, and I know people who don’t really like what you’re doing with that rig of yours. So if you don’t want me to sic them on you- and believe you me, they pay a lot-, then you better wise up with that deal. Capiche?