So what can you find while you’re down the Pier at Bournemouth?
Go to the town centre and find one of those little vending machines that sell maps of the town centre for £1. Buy one. Take a ruler marked off with inches, and put the end on the top of the round roof on the end of the pier on the side of the map that has a big map drawn like you was actually flying over the town in a chopper. Make sure the ruler goes due north. Mark off a line going due north from the centre of that round roof for 9 inches, marking off every three inches. The third mark should wind up over a building on Albert Road. The one with the brown roof with a red roof and a blue roof either side. Now choose one of the other two buildings – red roof blue roof / red pill blue pill, and go and see what is there.
At the beach end of the Pier is a big games arcade. Below it are toilets. Go into the Gents and see if half of it is blocked off with a metal gate. If it is, and if there is a toilet attendant there, ask to see the old man in the end cubicle. You will be taken through those gates by the attendant and led into a private room hidden behind the end cubicle. Here you will meet Hacking Jones, a Dipsomancer who should have been dead years ago. 1897 to be precise. He will grant you the answers to three questions. Ask wisely, as even though he will tell the truth, the information he chooses to give might not be what you need to hear.
Remember to ask after his daughter before you leave. It’s only polite.
At the end of the Pier is a spot right in the middle that is linked with death. If you stand in the middle on a windy day and listen to the wind blowing towards you, you will hear the voices of all who have ever jumped to their deaths there. You will also hear about the next thing that might possibly kill you, and how to avoid it.
Go to Borders and walk upstairs to the instore Starbucks. There’s a slightly plump blonde that works behind the counter there. Press a £2 coin into her hand as you ask for an Americano coffee and she’ll make sure your’s has an extra little kick. Oh yes, don’t forget to pay separately for the coffee or you won’t get the charge.
Go up the hill on Old Christchurch Road towards Boscombe and before you leave the pedestrian area you will find a little occult bookstore called Enigma. Most of the staff there are in the Occult Underground, even though the stuff they sell is crap. If you want the good stuff befriend them and they might take you downstairs to their personal wares…
Go further up Old Christchurch Road to the Lansdowne, then go straight across to Christchurch Road and head off towards Boscombe. Find the Crescent and buy a 2 litre bottle of Diamond White from the nearest offlicense before hanging around there drinking. This is where the Dipsomancers tend to hang out, along with some Narcomancers.
Have fun…