The Occult Underground’s newest drinking stories.

In the red corner, representing self-obsession a-la Scientology, we have the child of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.

In the blue corner, representing selfless devotion a-la charity work, we have the child of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

The combatants have been born unto our realm. Soon the ultimate battle will commence.

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David Letterman is the new Godwalker of Your Host For This Evening. Michael Parkinson is very, very upset. And when Parky gets upset, people start bleeding from their eyes.

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There’s a whisper, just the tiniest whisper, that some Korean kid just Ascended as the Obsessed Gamer. And that a 17th century chess master has come screaming back to earth.

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There’s been a recent discovery at Hunter S. Thompson’s ranch, buried in a bottom drawer; five blood-stained pages of unsteady handwriting, detailing a drinking contest between Thompson and ‘some crazy-ass euro-trash callled ‘Sam Germain’ or some such horse-shit’.

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No-one’s heard a peep out of The Freak for months. And Alex Abel has been collecting rare works on gender in mysticism…..

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Hope you all got some fuel for your fire!

Wire.