What people did before Post-Its and cell phones.
Power: Significant
Cost: 3 Sig. Charges (2 for Thanatomancers)
Effect: This spell triggers the next time its target is near a human corpse and more or less alone (GM’s call, usually when dramatically appropriate). The dead body will grab him and deliver the caster’s message (rank 8 Unnatural check, baby).
Ritual Action: First you need a dead body. It doesn’t really matter how it died or even if you made it happen, just so long as it’s more or less in one piece and hasn’t rotted too much (-10% chance of the ritual working per week spent as worm food). Take a piece of parchment and write the name of whomever you want to contact using a mixture of a dead man’s bile, blood, cerebrospinal fluid and semen (good luck getting that last one). Place the parchment in the corpse’s mouth and whisper your message into its ear; no Bond villain monologues here, it’s got to be said in a single breath. When the message is sent the parchment will crumble into dust. Just make sure nobody takes it out before then or else the whole thing fizzles out.
The most common applications of this ritual nowadays are of course threats, threats, covert messages, more threats and “Boo!” scares by occult practical jokers.
“…the good news is…I saved 15% by switching to Geico…”
Actually, they would animate the corpse and it would walk to the target, deliver the message, and fall over.
But since this was seen as rude or boorish, most people just hired street urchins to deliver pieces of scribbled-on paper.
And, in time, those illiterate street urchins became the post office.
The end.
Does the semen have to be from someone who is dead now, or who was dead at the time of harvesting?
Do the fluids all need to be from the same man?
Seems like some substantial medical knowledge may be necessary to procure those samples.
But it will all be worthwhile to see someone you hate at his mother’s funeral when she grabs him and says “I’m in Hell now…and we’re waiting for you.”
The question is, would you be able to hold the camera-phone steady through the ensuing Rank-9 Unnatural Check? And not burst out laughing? And stay ahead of the Hit Squad the Sleepers will send after you post the Video on You-Tube?