Read at your own risk.
Despite evidence to the contrary, many people on the Internet are actually quite literate. The Internet itself is causing the typos and stealing letters. No one knows why.
The United States has been unable to capture Osama Bin Laden for a very simple reason: he isn’t in Afghanistan anymore. He isn’t even in the Middle East. Word has it that he performed a bizarre ritual to consume the identity of someone else. Right now he’s masquerading as a powerful liberal senator from New England. No, it’s not the one you think it is.
New Jersey didn’t exist until 1999.
In Russia, the vodka really does drink you.
In the movie Tomb Raider, people did actually fly.
Everybody knows that the real Paul McCartney is dead. What most people don’t know is that his soul is trapped in Heather Mills’ prosthetic leg.
Every President of the United States can fly.
A major company has several copyrights on human DNA. Could they own yours?
Some digital cameras contain much more space than is advertised, and are programmed with a special algorithm to take pictures at random intervals, taking a picture of wherever the camera is pointed at the time. If these cameras are linked to a computer, they will covertly upload these secret pictures into a special folder. Whenever the computer is online, this packet of information is sent to a secure server. Whether the server is owned by the camera company, the government, or some third party is unknown.
Tom Cruise is not a Scientologist. His brain, however, is.
Hair is actually a separate creature in symbiosis with mammalian life.
Grass is an alien aggressor species trying to take over all life on Earth. Those people who meticulously care for their lawns have already been subverted. Could you be next?
You know David Icke? That British guy who writes all those conspiracy theory books about the secret reptilian masters of the world? Well, it’s all true, except that he forgot to mention that they’re Jewish.
Chipotle puts an addictive additive into their sodas. It’s part of their agreement with the Illuminati.
If you’re ever around Columbus, Ohio, look for a restaurant that serves a dessert topping called “liquid donut.” When no one is looking, sneak into the basement and take a shot of liquid donut, down it, and chase it with some Sprite from the fountain down there. For about a lunar year, no bullets can harm you.
The 1985 computer game Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?, along with elements of the later games and television series, was based on true events.
In the Prince William County Social Services building, there is a door that will take you a decade back in time.
Really? I heard the Pennino Building in Fairfax.
You know those guys you see on the street, those street performers? The ones playing guitars and collecting money in their hats? Well, they’re all playing the same song.
Slimline PS2s aren’t built that way. They’re starved.
The Oracle of Delphi is back in business; she and the priesthood have set up shop in some dance club in Chicago, though my friend swears she saw them in Washington, D.C.